Through The Eyes Of A Boy
by IrishCailin16
Summary: Have you ever felt alone? I have... This is the story of Remus Lupin, how he changed from a boy to a man, and the experiences that made him who he is. A lot better than it sounds!
1. Alone

AN: This is my first fic, so please bear with me. This is a story about the life of Remus Lupin from his birth to when he leaves Hogwarts. I'm from Ireland, so if anything I say in the story doesn't make sense to you, please don't hesitate to ask:c)

_**Have you ever felt alone? I have. I've been alone for a very long time, longer than anyone should be. I'm not going to waste time telling you that no-one else has ever felt the pain that I feel…many feel it everyday. It lives deep within their hearts, feeds on their souls, consumes and destroys them…**_

_**Yes, there are many out there who are just like me. But all of our stories are different; how it started, how the world treated us like animals because of something we cannot control, how life has left us alone and bitter, hanging on to the remnants of broken dreams…**_

_**There is no way that I can tell you every story, that would be impossible. But if you can spare the time, I will tell you mine…**_


	2. In The Beginning

PLEASE READ THE AUTHORS NOTE!! 

AN: Eh up? First off, I'd like to say a big 'go raibh míle síle' to _**mistinthenight, **_for being my first ever reviewer!! I salute you!

Secondly, I would like to thank those who added me on their Author Alert Subscription! It means a lot to me that so many people took an interest in my first story!

Ok, now that my emotional moment is over, I would just like to bring a few things to everyone's attention:

I do not own Harry Potter, any of its characters or movie or book rights! All that belongs to J.K. Rowling!!!

Next, the writing in _**bold italics**_ is Remus' thoughts, and the normal writing is the story as it is being told.

Lastly, this chapter will move quite slowly, because it's just background info, but I promise that the next chapter will much more exciting if you keep reading!!

Ok, now that that is cleared up, on with the story!!

_**My story begins long before I was even born. **_

_**My father was born into a wealthy, pure-blood family, The Stalwart and Eternal House of Lupin. Every pure-blood house had one of these ridiculous names, such as 'The Chivalrous and Everlasting House of Grace', and of course, 'The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.' **_

_**My father was born Jonathon Andras Suibhne Lupin, on the 12**__**th**__** June, 1934, his names originating from his famous Welsh and Irish ancestors. He lived with his parents and two brothers, Alexander and Sithchean, in a large estate in Pembrokeshire, Wales. Alexander was two years older than my father, while Sithchean was four years younger than him. **_

_**The three of them were accepted into Hogwarts, and even though every single Lupin had been Sorted into Ravenclaw for centuries, both my father and Sithchean broke that tradition by being Sorted into Gryffindor. **_

_**My mother was born Keena Aedammair Banda O'Hara, on the 20**__**th**__** August, inheriting her names from her grandmother and great aunts. She lived with her mother, older brother Michael, and two younger sisters, Dervil and Eibhilín, in a village in Leinster, in the Republic of Ireland. She and her siblings were all sorted into Gryffindor upon arriving at Hogwarts, and remained extremely close despite their age difference and different groups of friends. **_

_**My mother's family were not pure-bloods. In fact, there had been no witches or wizards in their family since the middle ages, until her parents. **_

_**John and Keena met on their very first train journey to Hogwarts when they were just eleven years old. However, as their backgrounds were so different, they didn't get along very well. My father had been brought up to think that he was better than everyone else because of his family, while my mother had been brought up to believe that it didn't matter how much money you had or how pure your blood was, it was about who you were inside. **_

_**For years they lived in the same House, but barely ever spoke, until they were in sixth year. My father had finally realised that being a pure-blood didn't make you royalty, and my mother had stopped being so naïve. They started dating, and within weeks were crazy about each other. **_

_**When they left school, John asked Keena for her hand in marriage. However, the Lupin family were horrified at the thought of having the family name soiled by a girl who was practically a mudblood, and tried to break them up. When this failed, they denounced my father, and declared that they had only two sons. The only member of the Lupin family that kept in contact with John was his younger brother Sithchean. **_

_**When John and Keena were just twenty-four, they had their first child, Rebecca Keena Medb Lupin, and two years later, in 1960, I was born…Remus John Michael Lupin. **_

_**And it's here that the story really begins…**_


	3. Monsters Aren't Real

AN: As promised, a much more exciting chapter!!!

_**Life couldn't have been better. My father had his dream job as an Auror, while my mother was rising quickly through the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in the Ministry. She was tipped as becoming the youngest ever Head of her department after the current Head retired.**_

_**We lived in the town that my mother grew up in, close to my aunts and uncle and grandmother, and right beside a forest, where Rebecca and I climbed trees and played for hours. **_

_**Yes, life was great, until that day…**_

"Catch me if you can!!" yelled a seven year old Rebecca Lupin to her five-year old brother Remus. He ran after her, willing his short little legs to go faster, but she was simply too quick for him with her lanky limbs. Rebecca giggled and trotted just out of his reach. Tired and annoyed, Remus started to whine. "Becky!! That's not fair! You got a head start!" Becky stuck out her tongue and laughed at his cross face. "Come on slow-poke," she taunted and ducked into the trees. Remus followed. He tried in vain to catch her over and over again, but to no avail. After about an hour, Remus realised that it was getting dark. Then he grew worried. They weren't supposed to go into the forest after the sun set. "Becky," he called, "we have to go home! Mammy will be angry if it's dark and we're not home." Becky snorted. "You're just scared of the dark! Baby baby!!" she taunted. "Am not!!," Remus yelled. Becky grinned, having gotten the reaction she wanted from him. " Then prove it!" And with that, she disappeared into the trees. Remus ran after her, following the sound of her muffled giggles. The sky grew darker still, and stars began to appear. Remus knew that his mother would be angry, and that he probably wouldn't get any dessert because of his lateness, but he couldn't let Becky think that he was scared of the dark. The truth was that he was scared of it, scared of the fact that you could never know what was lurking in the darkness, what was watching you.

The sky was very dark now, and the only light was that from the moon overhead. Remus could no longer hear Becky's giggles, and didn't recognise his surroundings. He was lost. Somewhere in the forest an owl hooted, startling him. The trees looked dark and menacing, shadows seemed to follow his every move, and the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. Remus started to sob, wishing more than anything that he was tucked up in bed, with his mammy kissing him on the forehead and his dad ruffling his hair. Even if it meant that he had to listen to Becky's taunts and not get any dessert.

Remus began to sob even harder. "Mommy!" he called through the trees, "Daddy!" He knew very well that his parents couldn't hear him, but he hoped that maybe they were in the forest somewhere, looking for him. He didn't care how angry they were, he just wanted them to give him a hug and take him home. "Mammy," he screamed again, "Mammy I want to go home!!"

Suddenly he heard a rustling in the trees behind him. He turned sharply, fully expecting to see his parents running towards him with their arms outstretched… But nothing happened. Maybe they couldn't find him. "Mammy! Daddy! I'm over here!!!"

But still no-one came. Remus felt desperate at this stage. He even would have liked the cranky old lady from down the road to come out from behind the trees! But no-one came.

Suddenly, he heard something behind him. He turned again, and could have sworn that a black figure darted across the forest path and into the trees on the other side. Remus was terrified. Then, a thought occurred to him; it was Becky! She was playing a trick on him, trying to see how scared he would get. Well, he wasn't going to fall for it!

"Becky!" he called into the trees, "I know it's you!" He waited for her to emerge from the trees, a big scowl on her face that she'd been rumbled, but she didn't appear. No-one did. The rustling in the trees continued. "Becky," Remus called again, "this isn't funny!" She was just being silly now!

The light of the moon illuminated the patch of trees where the rustling was coming from. Suddenly, through a gap in the trees, Remus saw a pair of eyes watching him. A pair of luminous yellow eyes! And a pair of razor sharp teeth that were bared in an awful grin! Remus screamed and ran through the trees on the other side of him. He didn't care how much noise he made, or how many cuts and scraps he got from the trees and bushes. He only cared about getting away from that creature.

Behind him, he heard an awful, spine-chilling howl. Remus ran faster, still sobbing his heart out. He could hear the beast following him, hear it snarling and spitting.

Remus ran for what seemed for hours, but still the beast didn't catch him. Then an awful thought formed in Remus' mind; maybe the beast was just playing with him, trying to tire him out before it caught him and… Remus gulped and kept running, a large stitch digging into his side. He did not want to think about the monster eating him. His mammy had always told him that there were no such things as monsters…so maybe this was all a dream. But the snarling and howling of the beast behind him reminded Remus that this was all too real.

Suddenly, ahead of him, he thought that he heard his name being called. He shook his head. Maybe the monster could talk and was trying to fool him…His father's voice was calling him…Maybe the monster could sound like his father…The voice was getting louder…Maybe the monster was catching up with him!

Just then, on the forest path ahead, Remus caught sight of his father, still in his work clothes, sprinting towards him. Something exploded in Remus' stomach and he forgot how exhausted he was. "Daddy," he squealed, and he sped up. Daddy was going to save him. "Remus, keep your voice down!" his father called, looking petrified. But Remus didn't listen to him, and kept squealing his name. Suddenly, something grabbed Remus from behind and started to pull him back into the trees…something with large yellow eyes… The monster had decided to stop playing games. It's razor sharp teeth dug into Remus' arm and pulled him backwards, back into the forest. Remus screamed in pain and fear. "DADDY!!!" Behind them, Remus could hear his father thundering along the path, screaming his name, but the sound was growing faint. The monster was faster than his dad was. Then, without warning, the monster flung Remus onto the forest floor and began to rip at him with its claws. Remus screamed and screamed, but the monster wouldn't stop. It bit him again in the side, and Remus felt blood run down his tummy. He was going to die, his daddy couldn't save him…

Suddenly, the beast let out a roar and jumped off of Remus. The little boy looked up…it was Daddy and Mammy, both of them!! His dad was holding a large branch that was on fire, and he was waving it at the monster, forcing it backwards into the trees. His mammy rushed to his side and lifted him up, cradling him against her. With a final screech, the monster bolted back into the trees.

John ran to his wife's side and looked at his son, his face colourless, and his breathing laboured. Remus felt himself drifting in and out of consciousness, but distinctly heard his father say, "What have I done…" before the darkness consumed him.

AN: Please review!!!


	4. Never

AN: Go dté mar atá sibh! Haha! Who says Irish is a dead language! Anyhoo, I have yet another thank you to give out! Go raibh míle síle to _**Jolly Ozzy Jones, **_for giving me a lovely review!

I also apologise to anyone who added me on their Author Alert who didn't get an update! I'm not sure if I have to email you myself or if do it for me…so if it is the former, I'm really sorry!

Here's the next chapter, sorry about the delay! Please don't forget to review!!

_**I can still remember that day. It's like it is burned into my memory, engraved upon my soul. I remember little about what happened after I passed out, but it comes to me in flashes; my parents running through the trees clutching me in their arms; the healers at St. Mungos trying to wake me up… **_

_**But one thing sticks in my mind, even now. Something that I will never forget, something that I remember every time something happens that makes me feel somewhat normal…**_

_**As I drifted in and out of consciousness in St. Mungos children's ward, a heard a Healer say; "He's going to be a monster…it'd be better if he didn't wake up…"**_

"Monster…" What monster? The Monster!! Remus Lupin woke up with a jolt. He didn't recognise his surroundings. He appeared to be in a big, white room, that smelt like the place where Granny had gone when she had been sick. And why were there so many people staring at him? At least six Healers and a few others were gazing down at him like he had two heads. And was he imagining it or did some of the Healers look really afraid? Well Remus would be afraid if he had to stay in a horrible place like this all of the time!

As they continued to look at him, Remus began to get scared. On seeing that he was awake, some of the people around him had adopted nasty sneers and were looking at him like he was beneath them. Which he sort of was, but in a different way!

Remus craned his neck to look around for his mammy and daddy, but he couldn't see them. He looked back at the people gathered around his bed. Not the friendliest looking bunch, but the Healer nearest him looked to be nice enough. She had thick red hair and big blue eyes, and wore a sympathetic expression. Remus opened his mouth to ask her where his mum and dad were, but no sound came out. The Healer tutted softly and raised a glass of water to his lips. "Try again," she said kindly. Remus smiled weakly and attempted to speak again. "Where are mammy and daddy?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. The Healer gave him a sad smile, and her blue eyes seemed to fill with tears. "They're just outside the door pet, don't you worry. Now maybe you should get some sleep…" But Remus was already trying to sit up. The Healer pressed him back down on the bed lightly. "You're not going anywhere right now dear," she said quietly. "But I want my mammy," said Remus tearfully. The Healer sighed. "Okay, if you stay here, I'll go and get her. Ok?" Remus nodded reluctantly.

After the Healer had left, Remus chanced a glance at the rest of the people gathered around his bed. They were still staring avidly at him, like he was the most entertaining thing they had ever seen. Remus glanced at the door, wondering what was taking so long.

After about five minutes, his mother and father came flying down the ward. The group around the bed finally moved away to allow them through, and backed away even further when John Lupin shot them a menacing look before turning to his son. Keena kissed her son on the forehead and looked into his eyes, her own puffy and bloodshot. "Everything's going to be okay love, everything is going to be fine." She sounded as if she was trying to convince herself more than him. Confused, Remus turned to look at his father, but John seemed to be avoiding his eyes. This only confused Remus even further; it wasn't like his daddy to be quiet. "Daddy?" John looked up on hearing his son's voice, and tried not to break down when he caught sight of his sons pale face. He had tried to put off looking at the little boy, hoping that maybe it would all be a dream, that maybe he'd wake up… But it was real, all of it…and it was his fault. He had destroyed his son's life. He would never forgive himself…

The kind Healer from before approached the bed. "Maybe we should tell Remus why he's here," she suggested quietly. The bewildered look on Remus' face almost made John cry. His little boy had no idea what had happened, how his life had changed forever because of one stupid bite!

Keena nodded at the Healer and turned to her husband. "John?" she said quietly. He turned to look at her. Did she blame him too? "We have to make Remus understand," she said, her eyes filling up with tears again. John nodded and swallowed hard. He wished that she would stop crying…he hated to see her upset. Keena turned back to Remus, who still looked heart-wrenchingly bewildered. "Remus, love, something very bad happened to you last night," she began. Remus' eyes widened and his face grew, if possible, even paler. "The monster, the monster, you promised that there were no such things as monsters!" he said to his mother, his eyes wide and accusatory. Keena sobbed. John knew that it was his turn to take over. "It wasn't a normal monster Remus," he said quietly, "it was a werewolf." Remus' eyes widened and John knew that the little boy was putting two and two together. He had always been such a smart little boy or 'the little genius as his aunts and uncle had always lovingly called him. He could have been anything he wanted when he grew up…but now everything had changed.

"But," Remus said in a hollow voice, "it bit me…" "Yes I know." Remus' green eyes filled with tears. "But I don't want to be a werewolf!" he sobbed, "make it go away! I don't want it!" Remus' wails were only punctured by his mother's sobs as she pulled him into her arms and rocked him back and forth, trying to comfort him…but there was nothing that she could say or do to make it better.

John felt tears slipping down his own face. He felt so helpless. His little boy would have to suffer for the rest of his life, and it was all his fault. He would never forgive himself.

Never.

Please review, you know you want to:c)


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